[It begins with an unmarked box left on Cullen's stoop. Opening it, Cullen will find a cooler filled with dry ice and a selection of choice meats. There's a note left that's made with letters cut out of magazines and pasted to another sheet.]
For you or your dog.
[Cullen loves his dog, presumably, so why wouldn't he feed him choice meats, and the man is built like a tank, so he probably enjoys meat, himself. This is belated, but Jon's still thinking about that party he crashed and how upset Cullen had been with him. Maybe a few anonymous gifts will make things better?]
[The next gift comes a day later and is substantially larger. It's a pair foam boogie boards in neon colors. Jon has no idea if Cullen would surf, but this, at least, takes little skill. When he'd been forced to go and play in the ocean as a child, he'd always felt a little safer with something like this attached to him. There's another note in the same style as the last one.]
Why not take a swim when it's warmer? It's probably fun.
[Jon is running out of gift ideas for Cullen more rapidly than he had for Hawke. He'll leave this as the last on in a set of three for a bit until he can think of more. This time, the gift is a small case of metal polish with another note:]
For cleaning up after you stab people. Possibly to death.
[When was the last time Jon had sent Cullen a gift? It's been too long if he can't remember, and the man's been kind after he saw what happened with Martin disappearing. And he'd tried to look out for Jon with Elias, even if Jon had... failed to listen to good sense. It's nearly summer. Cullen could probably do with some more summery things, right?
There's a full-face snorkel and a pair of fins left at his door in early May. There's the standard note with letters cut out and pasted onto a page:]
[Is he leaning too heavily into the beach theme? Maybe something else to balance things out. Does Cullen like honey? Is this for bees that make honey? Maybe not. But bees are important and Cullen seems like... and outdoorsy person. The next gift is a solitary bee hive.]
[Jon is rethinking the hive. Was that too strange? It's not especially practical. Cullen seems practical. He sends along another gift the next day after a rather frantic scouring of a shop that sells outdoor equipment. It's a portable campfire.]
[Martin is back! Tim is alive! Gerry is alive! Everything is wonderful and lovely and Jon maybe does some drunken online ordering after the party he'd had. Cullen is lovely. Yes. So lovely.
It's why he'll receive a make-your-own hot sauce kit, a motion activated toilet light, and a set of Man Bar soaps. Someone searched for 'gifts for men' and picked at extremely random. The note that accompanies these is, blessedly, normal. And comes printed with the shipped packages.]
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anonymous gift (1/18)
For you or your dog.
[Cullen loves his dog, presumably, so why wouldn't he feed him choice meats, and the man is built like a tank, so he probably enjoys meat, himself. This is belated, but Jon's still thinking about that party he crashed and how upset Cullen had been with him. Maybe a few anonymous gifts will make things better?]
anonymous gift (1/19)
Why not take a swim when it's warmer? It's probably fun.
anonymous gift (1/20)
For cleaning up after you stab people. Possibly to death.
anonymous gift (5/2)
There's a full-face snorkel and a pair of fins left at his door in early May. There's the standard note with letters cut out and pasted onto a page:]
anonymous gift (5/6)
anonymous gift (5/11)
anonymous gift (5/15)
anonymous gift (5/16)
anonymous gift (5/23)
It's why he'll receive a make-your-own hot sauce kit, a motion activated toilet light, and a set of Man Bar soaps. Someone searched for 'gifts for men' and picked at extremely random. The note that accompanies these is, blessedly, normal. And comes printed with the shipped packages.]
im extremely drunk and you were so niice