I provided you some false memories while wearing the blue charm to make the whole experience more authentic. Memories about Iscariot, and about myself. I'm not sure how much I gave you since much of it was involuntary, but it was enough to be functional, clearly.

[He makes his own move as he speaks, openly tense. This isn't a topic he can approach with his usual equanimity.]

I know, through those memories, you would have felt the dedication of Iscariot members. You would have felt my dedication, specifically. I know, uncomfortably, that you're aware I would have attacked or killed anyone you pointed at and done just about anything you asked me to. That's a lot to drop on someone, and I need to apologise for it even if you don't blame me for putting you in that position.

[He doesn't let his speech disrupt the game, continuing to make his moves when required. Not very good moves, mind you.]

I've been serving God my entire life, and serving the Church and Iscariot almost as long. When I arrived at Duplicity, I had never been separate from the Church and nor did I want to be. My life was dictated by my superiors and I was happy to heel for them- within reason, of course. Obviously not much has changed, in that regard. [He snorts.] I've recreated some of my life here with the Church and Orphanage, but there's no Iscariot and none of my usual network, and sometimes I deeply miss my former life and the stability and certainty that came with it. You had the misfortune of having to bear some of that while I wasn't in complete control of my faculties. I'm sorry I wasn't able to control myself. Perhaps if I'd made a stronger effort to resist-

[He briefly bites the corner of his lip.]

I don't know. But I'm sorry.