"You always do that. Maybe one day I'll learn why." His deflection of praise or anything resembling admiration when it's sincere is curious to say the least.
"Not the only one, no. Some of the reports coming across my desk make me wonder if there's anyone else left to trust. The Order is angry, restive. Voices of reason are in short supply." He doesn't like to be that person, the one who decides he's indispensable or the only one who truly understands a problem. In this case, he feels genuine worry about what would become of the mages of Kirkwall, the rest of the city, if he did lay down his sword and walk away.
"I'll still have to live with myself no matter where I go. I can't leave yet." He wonders how long he'll tell himself that or if there will come a day he stops listening and walks. It seems more possible now than ever before. To say he's disillusioned is an understatement.
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"Not the only one, no. Some of the reports coming across my desk make me wonder if there's anyone else left to trust. The Order is angry, restive. Voices of reason are in short supply." He doesn't like to be that person, the one who decides he's indispensable or the only one who truly understands a problem. In this case, he feels genuine worry about what would become of the mages of Kirkwall, the rest of the city, if he did lay down his sword and walk away.
"I'll still have to live with myself no matter where I go. I can't leave yet." He wonders how long he'll tell himself that or if there will come a day he stops listening and walks. It seems more possible now than ever before. To say he's disillusioned is an understatement.